Points To Consider Before Naming A Baby

1. Do not name him/her Jshaklmsknah(which is also my phone's bluetooth name) or an equally unpronounceable one. Because one day when he/she will be playing checklairs* with his/her friends, no one will take the risk to pronounce a 2.18 miles long name and the chaser will never run after him/her. Do you see how grave it can turn out to be for the child?
My suggestion: Look at china for inspiration. People save so much time by calling each other Chi, Ko, Li.

2. Do not name him/her Chi, Ko, Li. What? When did I suggest that, you liar!

3. The name must have a good meaning because you know how it is with everybody asking the same. Also, asking the question comes handy when you don't have anything else to say and you make weird sounds like "hmm...erm.....wellll.......soooo........uuaeeauaaeiigh......what does your name mean?" "It means Moon"
My suggestion: Go for Pooja, Rahul, Deepika Padukone and not Dinosaur, because it would mean a Dinosaur.

4. Girls have an another problem to deal with. One day out of the blue, they become "Chikni" Chameli instead of just Chameli. Visit a jyotish(astrologer) and make sure that the name is not going to turn into an item number title in future. Try predicting yourself on the basis of past data analysis. Here are some examples. Paise walo ki Pinki, jawaan Sheela, Jalebi Baai, badnaam Munni, badmaash Babli.....Please comment below if you remember any other name. I would really like to know.
My suggestion: Name her Guddi. I like the song Patakha Guddi. And I like Guddi too. :)

5. Don't go for unisex names. I know a boy Sudhanshu and a girl Sudhanshu. A boy Chintan and a girl Chintan. Confuses the person who receives their friend request and gets happy for an instant before plunging deep into depression when the expectations fall off a cliff.
My suggestion: Name her "Female" and him "Male". Simplicity always attracts.

6. Pet names are no joke. Serious business. A kid talks too much doesn't mean you could name him/her "Bas-kar". Its true, I swear on my green shirt that doesn't fit me anymore. My cousin was rescued out of being named Lilawati(my family has a traumatic sense of humour). My other cousin is pet-named Kranshu. That proves it.
My suggestion: I don't know. Just don't name him/her Mikku(personal reasons).

7. Think of 'all-countries-applicable' names. A person might want to go to a foreign country later in life. So, names which have a good transition factor will make a good choice. Harvindar becomes Harry, Samir becomes Sam, Manpreet becomes Man, Womanpreet becomes Woman, Sandeep becomes Spider Man. It doesn't? Okay.
My suggestion: Planet-relevant names will be just better. Like Jagdeep becomes Jaadu.

8. The name must have a good security shield. Like Zeenat is safer than Ankit. Having a name that starts with W, X, Y, Z can actually prove to be life-saving when the teacher starts checking the homework of class, which they generally do in alphabetical order.
My Suggestion: If you are interested in experimenting, choose the name Zyxw.

9. Pick a name that reflects the personality or some character of the person. If the child has blue eyes, name him/her "Blue Eyes". If the child swings a pendulum in your face, name him/her "Hypnotize". No, no. What makes you think I am listening 'Blue eyes'?
My suggestion: Yo Yo Honey Singh or No No Money Singh(know him here). Equally cool.

10. Do not use the name as a weapon to ward off evil from the baby. I am serious here. I know incidences where people are named Kuda(garbage). I do not know if anyone has ever been named Nimbu-Mirchi and I also don't recommend it, though it sounds appealing.
My suggestion: Be innovative and call the baby Kaala-teeka. If anyone of you just thought of doing it, then you have disappointed me by defeating the very purpose of this post and I will not talk to you. Ever.

*checklairs is a game in which a person chases another person until he/she declares name of someone else, which is when the chaser starts running after that person. Either it is no real game because Google doesn't know about it or I don't know the correct spelling.

If you liked the post, praise me. If you did not, then FYI this whole idea was inspired by a friend named Shashank. He was the person who said "My name means Moon" more appropriately Chanda Mama. He said he will kill me if I call him Chanda Mama, so if I am found dead tomorrow, he goes to jail.